Lady B's Blog

By Stacey Kerr-Burt 07 Aug, 2017
Through out to years I have spent much girl talk conversation time with friends discussing a variety of topics,  but one topic that never seem to have a right or wrong answer is the age old discussion on personal preference when it comes to the choice of your significant other.  Recently I stumbled upon a post from a friend that asked if it was wrong not to like "big girls?"  When I saw this question posed at first part of me was a little offended and part of a little intrigued to know what's not to like?  I took a step back and decided to think of the angles to the question.  The question truly was,  was he wrong for not preferring a plus size woman?, I guess once I dressed to question up a bit I was able to now understand the value of the question.  

Here the thing,  in life everyone knows what they do and don't like.  That pretty much goes for anything in life,  your style of dress,  your level of comfort ability,  your favorite color,  I can go on and on. Preference is just the way you may like something or someone.  So in my opinion it is absolutely not wrong to say you do not prefer plus sized women.  To me the wrong is how the question was posed,  the wrong often comes in how that preference is conveyed.  Growing up in my era and those before we had been taught the saying "sticks and stones.... ,"  this has caused a lot of heartbreak and life time scares.  In my life experiences  I have both witnessed and been part of many situation that size, looks or a personal attributes played a major role.  I am sure that most of my reader would say, "such is the life that we live," however people often turn their preference into body shaming of others. Often times they turn their preferences into demeaning comments, degrading a person for their own preferences or sometimes things that are beyond their control. Many people fail to realize that all it takes is one insensitive comment to hurt, ruin and or destroy someones whole outlook of themselves. In a perfect world this would not be the case at all. In a perfect world everyone's self esteem would be at resounding levels and every woman, man and child would exude confidence, but as we all know this is not the case.
Every year, every month, every day there are families that are left with a missing piece to their hearts, losing a loved one that someone decided to impose their preference on without thinking it through how that person would accept their preferential rant. Speaking without thought of how it may be internalized by the receiver. 

Ever so often there is a new look, new fashion statement, new body statement, a new acceptable fad of what is considered appropriate. In the recent, it has been deemed okay to be a "curvy," "thick, "voluptuous," whatever your choice word may be used to describe a plus sized women or a woman with larger physical attributes than some. Silly me thinking it was okay all along, definitely keeping that thinking by the way, that is after all my preference. The topic of preference is one that you can go on and on about. Someone can sit with a check list of all their preferences and all the attributes that may want in their significant other, friends, family etc, but the reality is you may never know what or who you have missed out on in life because you are so busy worrying about all your preferences. When judging a book by its cover sometimes its good to read the summary in the back before you discard, because although they may not have met your size requirement, or looks requirement you may have missed out on the best of hearts.  So No, its not wrong to have a preference or a type but always remember that once your words have been said they are received, and you have all control of type of person your are and who you are perceived to be. 
By Stacey Kerr-Burt 25 Jul, 2017

Every woman has an idea of who they are and what they want to be from the time that they are old enough to dress themselves.  Those special events that you plan your whole "look" out in your mind,  all you need is the financials to be right and the time to do the shopping that it will take to put that outfit together. That feeling for most is a joyous occasion because you know that everything you pick out is going to fit and look right..... Right ????

Growing up I went through so many phases and changes, the "tomboy phase," the what I like to call "dark phase," the "girly phase." I had sectioned off all the different periods of how I liked to dress,  practically drove my mother crazy. All these phases had one very common factor,  I was still uncomfortable and they didnt feel like me. I just wanted to find my outer beauty.

I got tired of hearing 'you are so cute but your chubby." Almost like I didn't know that. Boy has it been a journey....

By Stacey Kerr-Burt 25 Jul, 2017

Many will ask, "why start a blog? What are you going to write about? What is your message to the world?"

Well here it is, blogging is my spare time fun. It is a way to express myself and also shed light on a variety of things that may have peaked my interest, brought me joy, made me cry or made me think. I only hope to be able to share with you my passion for fashion and all things girly, even though I am not your girliest girly girl, and my love for art and creativity.

I have always been interested in blogging however was not quite sure what the point of blogging was or why it was important to anyone.  Obviously I had to do my research. Boy did that take me on a world wind experience,  blogs about health, life,  style, cars, safety, education,  you name it,  there's a blog for it. Writers of all walks of life sharing their worlds. A voice that is not only given to the "reporters" or T.V. personalities. A voice for the layman,  for the single mom,  the happy or unhappy house wife,  the couponers and even possibly your next door neighbor.

My hope as a new blogger is that something that I may have wrote will put a smile on someones face,  make them think about life and all of it's possibilties. So come along and help me discover all the possibilities of blogging.

By Stacey Kerr-Burt 25 Jul, 2017

Make up had never been something that I wanted to learn.  When I say "learn," I mean the know how,  knowing how to not walk out the house looking like I am part of the circus.  Not that it's anything wrong with that, if that's the look that you are going for, but that wasn't what I envisioned for me. Strangely enough my love for make up came about very late.  I wore my share of black lip stick as teen but that was as far as it went. As I look back in time I am in awe as I look at the growth of personal preference.

I have learned so much about the artistry that is behind applying make up. Every brush has a purpose, even product a reason. It's definitely a process, but when you have figured it out or in my case somewhat figured it out you almost feel a sense of victory. Maybe I am the only one that feels that way,  but I must say, make up artist everywhere I salute you😊

I thought it would only be fitting to share some of my faves......

By Stacey Kerr-Burt 25 Jul, 2017

Does the Gentleman Still Exist?  

What ever happened to the men that opened doors, stood when a woman walked into the room, offered a seat when all were taken. Its seems that these type of habits are no longer taught to our young men. This is not at all to complain that there are no good men, that is definitely not true. Somehow though it still seems like you have to remind today's man that women of today still enjoy chivalry. This has been one of those topics that always seem to "grind my gears," why is okay for a man to just disregard the value of a woman. Is it because we are not demanding it?, or are we settling because they have chosen to just not learn or be taught. I know what your are all thinking, why does it matter? So many questions, I can keep going on and on.

When I see a man that stops in the mist of his busy day to hold a door or like my significant other gently reminds me that I am walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk it just warms my heart. The fact is I don't see these little gestures very often anymore. On a daily basis I watch as men run faster to a seat that is available on a crowded train or bus, leaving an elderly person or pregnant woman standing. Living in NYC it is rear to not be in the mist of a crowd, especially while traveling. I have learned that women have adopted these chivalrous techniques as a way to soothe what is missing in our men. As I scroll through social media often times I see post that tell a pregnant woman horrible things like "she should have slept with a man with a car, WHY!!! How do you not think that possibly she has a hard working man that couldn't take her to where she needed to be, solely because he is out doing for her and his family. Why is that even a joke? There is no harm in offering, the most she would do is politely refuse if she felt she was fine standing for the duration of her trip.

To me the lack of chivalry in this day and age is because we who are mothers and fathers are no longer instilling the importance of this in our children. We most teach our daughters that it is expected of a man to open her doors, stand to his feet when she enters, pull her seat out at the dinner table, ensure he is one the right side when they walk. We must teach our sons the same. I strongly believe that bringing these types of teaching back to our generations we will start seeing much more respect and humility among each other.

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I can only hope to maybe one day have a lasting impression on those that encounter me.  Not only a lasting one but a good one..... Until then I can share with you the parts of life that help bring a little more joy into my world , so join me on my  journey into fashion,  art,  & life experiences .
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