Lady B's Blog

By Stacey Kerr-Burt 09 Oct, 2017

I never thought the day would come where I questioned so many fashion trends and fads. To be honest I have always been the first person to shun the critics and ignore the nay Sayers, as I feel someone should have the right to look anyway they see fit. This was until I became the parent of teenaged daughters. In the recent few years I find myself analyzing every outfit choice with much more scrutiny; especially those outfits worn during my leisure time. I often modify my outfits so they can be more “modest”, ensuring that it is what I like to call “mom like.” Now I know that many of you are asking what does she mean by saying mom like, I mean child friendly attire. Clothing that doesn’t bring your initial thought to “how sexy” but the type of clothing that makes you think “how pretty.” Respectively I understand that everyone has a different view on what we may feel is appropriate around our children I am analyzing this as I view it.

My eldest daughter who will be fourteen at the end of October has become very body and image conscious in the last few years. As expected this is a process that gets worst before it gets better, there are so many fashion debates that arise. There’s the make-up debate, what types of make-up is appropriate for a young lady to wear, is there a such thing as teen make-up? For us make-up lovers there absolutely is. My teens are intrigued by having the perfect eyebrows, you tube has become a permanent fixture in our lives. I even find myself toying with the idea of starting my own channel, they spend so much time watching the tutorials they have even taught me some things. Although a joy to teach my daughters all about to art of make-up, I also worry of too much too fast, I have learned to redirect my daughters from the darker colors, gearing her more towards light, soft colors that work well with their skin tones. There will always be numerous clothing debates, my favorite is the crop top debate. Is it okay for teens to wear crop tops? Some would say sure, others would reject the idea completely, I have found that it’s easier to suggest other edgier but much more parent pleasing clothing idea. Most times you will find that your teen will sway to your idea if you don’t just shoot down theirs. Raising teenagers has been a serious fashion adventure, this is when you realize that clothes shopping for someone other than yourself is not as fun as it used to be when your style was theirs, when the only task you had was to buy a cute outfit with no extra input from them.

Since my girls are now young ladies my journey into fashion has taken so many Twist and turns. It has taught me that sometimes you can adjust what you like to fit who you now are. I realize that having an open mind takes you a long way, especially with teen girls. It has even taught me to remain calm in the face of fashion disaster, because no-one panics more than a teen in the mist of a wardrobe malfunction.

I guess this ones for the mothers and fathers of teenagers. The age of discovery, when they like nothing but want everything. Reality had hit me, I am not the only fashionista in the house, but I think I like it. How would you feel?

By Stacey Kerr-Burt 17 Sep, 2017
When I was a child I remember my mother made sure that I wore the latest in brand name clothing. I have the fondest memories of going to mall and buying anything that  was the latest in style. You name the fad or the trend I probably had it. It was a time in my life where I felt like this made me fit in with the in crowd, no one could ever dear call me out for not being in style. At that point in my life I thought I had to look like everyone else. Boy has things changed, looking back at that time in my life I find that even though with all the brand name clothing and all the trendy shoes in the world, those things are not what I held onto as a life lesson. They had no bearing on my adult life other than the memory of shopping sprees with my mom.  When I began working and had to use my own finances to purchase my clothing and the various things that I liked. In that time I realized that not everything was for me. I guess when it came to using my own I felt like I needed to make my choices worth it, worthy of me and who I was. This is when I realized that my had been teaching me a life lesson without even knowing it. I remember watching her buy her own clothing, she brought clothes from everywhere. She purchased brand names, no frills, you name it, if she liked it she wore it. The price tag meant nothing, to 99 cents to $999.00, if she liked it that was all that mattered. From that point on I brought the clothing and the shoes that only the world like, the "It" trend, I brought the things that made me happy. What I have realized in life, is that style truly is what you believe to be. To truly be a trend setter you must create your own style, not everyone will like it, some may not even understand. Its not meant to make anyone else happy but you, its meant to express your mood, your thoughts without having to say word. Your style can be your daily escape, by creating a multitude of looks. Your style equals your expression, so don't lose yourself......Embrace who you are.
By Stacey Kerr-Burt 31 Aug, 2017
The dictionary's definition of confidence is a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.... In life you will find the type of person that will be involved with everything, talk to everyone,and tend to be the center of attention in every environment. Does this make the person confident or is it that the person is confident enough with themselves that these things just seem to happen? Often times this type of person will be looked at with an envious eye, more times that most being disliked by many or in some cases surrounded by those that may or may not be in your presence for the right reasons. I have been privileged enough to talk to many plus sized women, some with a great air of confidence and others that are still searching for that self love within.  For one reason or another they are unable to find it, or restore it. There are so many factors in life that play a major role in the way a person can display their confidence, their upbringing, the trials and tribulations of life, or simply just the way they physically view themselves.
I chose to write this blog based on confidence because all to often I tend to encounter beautiful people that may lack confidence. I am using the word beautiful not because I am talking about physical beauty only, but I am encompassing those that are "beautiful" at heart and in actions. They are the people that often used, victimized, or never meet the achievements that they could have because they just missed that confident spark. Growing up plus sized I have learned that without a glimmer of confidence in your personality, there will be many moments that the world will attempt to break you down. Is this occurrence right, NO, is it a fair treatment, "NO", and is your lack of confidence to blame for societies lack of humility, "NO."  Unfortunately there are times that someone's uncertainty with themselves are expressed to or abuse another person because they are aware of the persons low self esteem (ie. BULLIES), taking advantage of the situation instead of uplifting and encouraging. 
Many people tend to misconstrue someones confidence with having a large ego, to me that is completely different... that is a matter of my opinion.  When I speak of confidence I speak that inner confidence that tends to speak for itself. The type of confidence that drives you to be a better you, the confidence that makes you want to shine as a glimmer of hope for not only yourself but for those around you. The type of confidence that when you wake up in the morning your are confidently positive that you will be the best you that you want to be.  
So to my "Fluffy Glam" and anyone else no matter your race, size, or creed..... Be confidently you, "Put a little Slay on it" and have no apologies. 
By Stacey Kerr-Burt 24 Aug, 2017
After having a very interesting conversation with my twelve year old daughter, I was compelled to write about our discussion. I have to give you all a little bit of insight when it comes to this magnificent child of mine...... Years ago when she was around four she came to me and asked me "mommy why am I different?" Initially I was a little confused as to why she asked me this question until she explained further what she meant. She expressed to me that she had noticed that she was dark and her siblings wasn't, to be honest when she was that age I didn't take the time to really explain to her that she was darker because she had more melanin in her skin than her siblings. I unfortunately dismissed her question by saying "baby your black is beautiful," at four, for her that was a valid explanation and she walked away happy to continue playing with her siblings.

Now we fast forward eight years and she walks into my room and says "mom I think I want to bleach my skin." I must say I wasn't shocked that she had made the statement as I always knew that she felt that she "different." Despite my many attempts as a parent through out the years to ensure that she never felt "different" from her siblings, I knew that she questioned often why she was the dark skinned one.  This time I didn't just dismiss the question, I knew better than now. Especially with all the issues of today that involves race, skin color, image, body issues, you name it, this time I was going to have the conversation that it seems had be years in the making. I decided to ask the simple question of WHY? She commenced to tell me that after seeing models on the internet it seem that the lighter you are, the more privileged you are.  She stated that social media shows the beautiful light skinned models that have fixed themselves to be what everyone liked in 2017. I asked her if she had ever heard of Photoshop and did she realize that they too are imperfect. She continued on to tell me that she understood that, but stated that just like them she too wanted to fix what she didn't like about herself.  I will admit I was intrigued to find out her complete thinking behind fixing herself.

Our conversation lead us on many different paths, first she told me that she did not like her skin tone because she feels like she is two toned. I asked, "what part of your body do you feel is two toned," she answered by pointing out that she darker joint areas, such as her knees and elbows. So I took it upon myself to begin pointing out every dark mark and or blemish I had on my skin to her to prove that every complexion had imperfections. Then she told that she was too skinny, and in her mind, in 2017 that was two things that are working against her fitting in, because everyone is talking about having an hourglass figure and fairer skin. I really wanted to know who everyone was, I asked the age old question "if everyone jumped off a building....would you?" Her answer to me was,  "if she felt it was a smart decision for her"....For a second, I was stumped, so I asked for a bit more insight. She continued on, stating that all  the images in the media promote the pin up doll and no longer the "skinny" barbie doll and to her she was more like a black barbie doll. I expressed to her her black was perfect, her melanin was popping and it was part of what made her different and beautiful. I continued on by using a bit of word association with her and asked her to tell me the first thing she thought of when she heard someone say black. Her first word out was BEAUTIFUL......  I looked at her and asked "now why did you want to bleach your skin?"

This conversation made me so much more aware, not only of how my children view themselves but how many children of today may view themselves, the images that we present to them on a daily basis are not only memories that they hold on to, but they become goals that they set for themselves. Although we can not control what is idealized in the media we can show our children that being who they are is the best way to be. To embrace their different, and those that are different. 
By Stacey Kerr-Burt 22 Aug, 2017

Got  a special occasion coming up?, or maybe just putting together your daily look? I am sure every one goes through a bit of anxiety trying to find that perfect outfit for the event at hand. There are so many factors that may go through your mind when picking your "look of the day" as I call it. Every day is different and your mood might change, so getting that just right look becomes a task of not only finding the right look to complement the event, but having that look that you will be comfortable in at any time.

Although most people won't admit the truth, there is a such thing as the wrong outfit for an occasion. The moments when you are at the family BBQ and someone walks in looking like they are headed to the night club or worst. The unfortunate reality is that sometimes you are that person. The trick is to find ways to avoid those awkward moments. Easiest and sure fire way is to ask the people or person to whom you will be with. Another way is to just be realistic , think of the type of event you have been invited to. Certain outfits are just not  to be worn to every occasion, the perfect black dress is only perfect if it can be converted to fit the needs of the event.

Never be afraid to let your personality shine through, enjoy colors and patterns, explore new styles and trends that you have been dying to try but to scared to dare.  There's nothing better than debuting a new look to a special event. Always remember no  matter your size your confidence will lead you to outfit victory. My fluffy glams, its definitely okay to explore  patterns, floral, stripes, you name it, they are all your friend. Mix and match your outfits, just because you brought it as a pair doesn't mean it must stay that way. You will find that doing this will not only expand your wardrobe, it will save you a pretty penny.    

By Stacey Kerr-Burt 07 Aug, 2017
Through out to years I have spent much girl talk conversation time with friends discussing a variety of topics,  but one topic that never seem to have a right or wrong answer is the age old discussion on personal preference when it comes to the choice of your significant other.  Recently I stumbled upon a post from a friend that asked if it was wrong not to like "big girls?"  When I saw this question posed at first part of me was a little offended and part of a little intrigued to know what's not to like?  I took a step back and decided to think of the angles to the question.  The question truly was,  was he wrong for not preferring a plus size woman?, I guess once I dressed to question up a bit I was able to now understand the value of the question.  

Here the thing,  in life everyone knows what they do and don't like.  That pretty much goes for anything in life,  your style of dress,  your level of comfort ability,  your favorite color,  I can go on and on. Preference is just the way you may like something or someone.  So in my opinion it is absolutely not wrong to say you do not prefer plus sized women.  To me the wrong is how the question was posed,  the wrong often comes in how that preference is conveyed.  Growing up in my era and those before we had been taught the saying "sticks and stones.... ,"  this has caused a lot of heartbreak and life time scares.  In my life experiences  I have both witnessed and been part of many situation that size, looks or a personal attributes played a major role.  I am sure that most of my reader would say, "such is the life that we live," however people often turn their preference into body shaming of others. Often times they turn their preferences into demeaning comments, degrading a person for their own preferences or sometimes things that are beyond their control. Many people fail to realize that all it takes is one insensitive comment to hurt, ruin and or destroy someones whole outlook of themselves. In a perfect world this would not be the case at all. In a perfect world everyone's self esteem would be at resounding levels and every woman, man and child would exude confidence, but as we all know this is not the case.
Every year, every month, every day there are families that are left with a missing piece to their hearts, losing a loved one that someone decided to impose their preference on without thinking it through how that person would accept their preferential rant. Speaking without thought of how it may be internalized by the receiver. 

Ever so often there is a new look, new fashion statement, new body statement, a new acceptable fad of what is considered appropriate. In the recent, it has been deemed okay to be a "curvy," "thick, "voluptuous," whatever your choice word may be used to describe a plus sized women or a woman with larger physical attributes than some. Silly me thinking it was okay all along, definitely keeping that thinking by the way, that is after all my preference. The topic of preference is one that you can go on and on about. Someone can sit with a check list of all their preferences and all the attributes that may want in their significant other, friends, family etc, but the reality is you may never know what or who you have missed out on in life because you are so busy worrying about all your preferences. When judging a book by its cover sometimes its good to read the summary in the back before you discard, because although they may not have met your size requirement, or looks requirement you may have missed out on the best of hearts.  So No, its not wrong to have a preference or a type but always remember that once your words have been said they are received, and you have all control of type of person your are and who you are perceived to be. 
By Stacey Kerr-Burt 25 Jul, 2017

Every woman has an idea of who they are and what they want to be from the time that they are old enough to dress themselves.  Those special events that you plan your whole "look" out in your mind,  all you need is the financials to be right and the time to do the shopping that it will take to put that outfit together. That feeling for most is a joyous occasion because you know that everything you pick out is going to fit and look right..... Right ????

Growing up I went through so many phases and changes, the "tomboy phase," the what I like to call "dark phase," the "girly phase." I had sectioned off all the different periods of how I liked to dress,  practically drove my mother crazy. All these phases had one very common factor,  I was still uncomfortable and they didnt feel like me. I just wanted to find my outer beauty.

I got tired of hearing 'you are so cute but your chubby." Almost like I didn't know that. Boy has it been a journey....

By Stacey Kerr-Burt 25 Jul, 2017

Many will ask, "why start a blog? What are you going to write about? What is your message to the world?"

Well here it is, blogging is my spare time fun. It is a way to express myself and also shed light on a variety of things that may have peaked my interest, brought me joy, made me cry or made me think. I only hope to be able to share with you my passion for fashion and all things girly, even though I am not your girliest girly girl, and my love for art and creativity.

I have always been interested in blogging however was not quite sure what the point of blogging was or why it was important to anyone.  Obviously I had to do my research. Boy did that take me on a world wind experience,  blogs about health, life,  style, cars, safety, education,  you name it,  there's a blog for it. Writers of all walks of life sharing their worlds. A voice that is not only given to the "reporters" or T.V. personalities. A voice for the layman,  for the single mom,  the happy or unhappy house wife,  the couponers and even possibly your next door neighbor.

My hope as a new blogger is that something that I may have wrote will put a smile on someones face,  make them think about life and all of it's possibilties. So come along and help me discover all the possibilities of blogging.

By Stacey Kerr-Burt 25 Jul, 2017

Make up had never been something that I wanted to learn.  When I say "learn," I mean the know how,  knowing how to not walk out the house looking like I am part of the circus.  Not that it's anything wrong with that, if that's the look that you are going for, but that wasn't what I envisioned for me. Strangely enough my love for make up came about very late.  I wore my share of black lip stick as teen but that was as far as it went. As I look back in time I am in awe as I look at the growth of personal preference.

I have learned so much about the artistry that is behind applying make up. Every brush has a purpose, even product a reason. It's definitely a process, but when you have figured it out or in my case somewhat figured it out you almost feel a sense of victory. Maybe I am the only one that feels that way,  but I must say, make up artist everywhere I salute you😊

I thought it would only be fitting to share some of my faves......

By Stacey Kerr-Burt 25 Jul, 2017

Does the Gentleman Still Exist?  

What ever happened to the men that opened doors, stood when a woman walked into the room, offered a seat when all were taken. Its seems that these type of habits are no longer taught to our young men. This is not at all to complain that there are no good men, that is definitely not true. Somehow though it still seems like you have to remind today's man that women of today still enjoy chivalry. This has been one of those topics that always seem to "grind my gears," why is okay for a man to just disregard the value of a woman. Is it because we are not demanding it?, or are we settling because they have chosen to just not learn or be taught. I know what your are all thinking, why does it matter? So many questions, I can keep going on and on.

When I see a man that stops in the mist of his busy day to hold a door or like my significant other gently reminds me that I am walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk it just warms my heart. The fact is I don't see these little gestures very often anymore. On a daily basis I watch as men run faster to a seat that is available on a crowded train or bus, leaving an elderly person or pregnant woman standing. Living in NYC it is rear to not be in the mist of a crowd, especially while traveling. I have learned that women have adopted these chivalrous techniques as a way to soothe what is missing in our men. As I scroll through social media often times I see post that tell a pregnant woman horrible things like "she should have slept with a man with a car, WHY!!! How do you not think that possibly she has a hard working man that couldn't take her to where she needed to be, solely because he is out doing for her and his family. Why is that even a joke? There is no harm in offering, the most she would do is politely refuse if she felt she was fine standing for the duration of her trip.

To me the lack of chivalry in this day and age is because we who are mothers and fathers are no longer instilling the importance of this in our children. We most teach our daughters that it is expected of a man to open her doors, stand to his feet when she enters, pull her seat out at the dinner table, ensure he is one the right side when they walk. We must teach our sons the same. I strongly believe that bringing these types of teaching back to our generations we will start seeing much more respect and humility among each other.

Embrace Who You Are

I can only hope to maybe one day have a lasting impression on those that encounter me.  Not only a lasting one but a good one..... Until then I can share with you the parts of life that help bring a little more joy into my world , so join me on my  journey into fashion,  art,  & life experiences .
Read more

"Be your own kind of beautiful"- Marilyn Monroe

Fluffy Glam Lady B

Read more

My Top Picks

Click the image to find all my faves 
Read more
Share by: